For my weekly writing spot on this site, see the One-Minute Mystic, with a new meditation posted every Monday. Also see The Village, the story of Misty Longings, England's most beautiful village, posted episode by episode earlier this year.       Saving private solitude     Lady Gaga, never knowingly under-exposed, dug deep into the basket of self-revelation recently. Speaking to Star TV, she spoke of a secret marriage. And I wasn't best pleased. It's called heightened awareness. Having just completed a book called Solitude, I see the word everywhere – even in places it should never be found. 'I am an artist,' said pop phenomenon Lady Gaga. 'We wallow in loneliness and solitude our whole lives… Yes, I'm lonely. But I'm married to my loneliness.' How are you feeling about that? Perhaps you're nodding your head in empathic agreement, but I'm shaking my head in frustration. Millions hang on her every word, but her words perpetuate a falsehood. Solitude is nothing like loneliness. 'Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone,' writes Paul Tillich, a man more often quoted in the Church Times. 'It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.' It's important we keep them separate, otherwise all hell will break loose. Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. When a person is lonely, they feel that something is missing. It's not just about being physically alone; it's possible to be with people and still feel lonely — perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness. There's nothing redemptive about this experience. It feels harsh, like a punishment; it's perceived as a state of deficiency provoking discontent and a sense of estrangement in the world. Solitude is different. Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely; of being happily alone. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself, and through oneself, with God and the world around. Solitude is something desirable, something to be sought; a state of being alone in the good company of your self. We must take responsibility for our loneliness. It's not something others do to us but something we do to ourselves; and a call to consider how we relate to the world. We remember the wise words of Rumi: 'Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.' The world is full of people seeking out other people they don't particularly like, just to stay active and feel involved. There is no finer recipe for loneliness. Others stuff the spaces in their lives with mental noise from the radio, mobile or internet leaving no room for anything beautiful and self-sustaining to grow inside them. Is it any wonder they're dull and find their own company so hard to endure? Lady Gaga was mistaken. Loneliness and solitude are different lands but their borders touch. We walk from one to the other when we cease using others and start allowing ourselves. More writings © Simon Parke