| A TWICE WEEKLY SERIAL OF BIG TOP FOLK BY
SIMON PARKE |
|
EPISODE 22
PROSPECTS
"So why do it?" asks Daisy. "If you so hate it, why do it?"
"Think about it."
"Nothing's worth this unhappiness."
"Where else will I earn what I earn?"
Scuttle and Daisy are standing with Julie, who is waving her trunk randomly. Scuttle, the circus dwarf, has reason to feel small when stood beside her, and perhaps this is what set him off:
"Do you really think I'm happy being a freak?"
"Everyone in the circus is a freak!"
"The audience laughs because of my little legs!"
"The audience laughs because you are a skilled performer."
"I'm the funny little bloke. People laugh when I enter the ring, before I've fuckin' done anything. Burt's no fool; he knows what people want – the ugly, the curious and the clever, and a performing dwarf gives you the trinity – three in one! Smart move, eh?"
"So why do it? If you hate it so much, why do it?"
"Think about it."
"Nothing's worth this unhappiness."
"Where else will I earn what I earn?"
"I could earn more being a vet; but I don't want to be a vet."
"Bully for you; but there's nowhere I could earn more. When we're not touring I can get a bit of work at corporate gigs, trade shows, and private parties; there's always something for the freak. But this is solid work for eight months of the year. No brainer."
Daisy puts a bucket of water in front of Julie, who drinks eagerly.
"It isn't about how others see you," she says.
"Fuck off, Daisy! D'you think I don't see it in their patronising eyes?"
"You see it in your own eyes, and assume it's in theirs."
"I know it's in theirs!"
"A long time ago, someone taught you to hate yourself. You're still in their class."
"Swallowed a self-help book or something?"
"It's called 'obvious'."
"Live a day in my shoes, just one day – and then you'd know where to stick your mantras! The Prince Regent, famous for the Brighton Pavilion and living in the 18th century, would sit dwarves on his knee and feed them sweet meats! I'd have fed the Pratt Regent a bunch of fives!"
Daisy watches him leave; upset he'd taken it in this way. She must try and help him; she really must.
More clowning around |
