« Highs and Lows in the Lake District | Main
July 19, 2010
My Top Ten
This weekend a young friend of mine was so desperately unhappy that he took an overdose, many familiar themes run through his life, but the defining one is probably not having adults who were able to put his welfare before their own.
For inner health to exist we need to be able to turn to ourselves to find solutions or comfort when difficult situations arise.
This is much easier if as small children we experienced carers who not only responded to our needs accurately, but who also encouraged us to be independent, by allowing us to try things out within the safety of a loving relationship.
When a child is fortunate enough to be looked after by an adult who cares for them and understands their role is to help the child learn life skills, then this child will posess a head start when it comes to inner health.
These are my Top Ten life skills that contribute to having inner strengh.
1. Being able to understand and name the different emotions that we and others feel and learning that these feelings are not a constant state, but are things that pass through us.
2. Knowing different healthy ways of soothing ourselves when we feel anxious about situations.
3. Understanding that disagreements can be worked out and learning that healthy relationships do not come to a sudden end because of them.
4. Valuing the time we spend alone and being able to use this space to nurture ourselves.
5. Recognising and having preferences for the things that keep us healthy in body, mind and spirit.
6. Knowing and valuing ourselves and others as unique individuals and being able to tune into our own way of being creative.
7. Being able to speak up for ourselves and knowing what our needs are.
8. The ability to take responsibility for our own actions.
9. Understanding that it is ok to make mistakes along the way and seeing these times as learning opportunities.
10. Recognising that life is a journey and as individuals we will go through many different stages on our way from birth to death and being willing to embrace these varied life experiences.
If he wants to change the course of his life my young friend needs to learn these skills, without the early nurturing it will be more difficult but by no means impossible. Believe me I know.
Posted by Shelliz at July 19, 2010 05:24 PM